Poor baby!
I was asked what a snot vampire was. This is a long story. Many years ago, I was reading a collection of short stories. The editor(producer, publisher–I don’t remember) asked various science fiction writers for off the wall short stories. I believe it was Harlan Ellison who sent a story about a snot vampire. It was so gross that the editor would not publish it and asked for something else. I got the feeling that he knew Ellison sent it on purpose. Since then, I often say I need a snot vampire whenever I have a runny nose or sinus infection. When I mentioned it to my then boyfriend (current husband), he was suitably impressed that I read that sort of thing. So, yesterday, I went to see the doctor (snot vampire) and he gave me a prescription for my sinus infection (bit me on the face and sucked the snot right out of me). I hope your imagination is as good as mine.