Mammogram

The grumpy old woman got up this morning and made herself a cup of coffee.  When she finished, she got dressed and went to the clinic for her annual mammogram.  She made sure that she was on time because she received a call the day before requesting that she please be prompt.  When she got to the clinic, she was given a number and told to wait.  A half hour later, her number was called to check her insurance and identification.  Would you have a mammogram for someone else?  Don’t be ridiculous!  It’s good that she brought her knitting.  Finally, she was sent to another room to wait.  A woman came out of nowhere with a mouth dripping so much honey that the room was completely covered with it.  If she said “sweetie” one more time, she was going to get her lights bunched out.  She leads her into a small dark room and gets two bricks out of the freezer.  The whole time she is squishing the life out of her boobs, the honey is going all over the place.   Finally, she is finished.  She turns and says,” What color flower would you like?”  “What?  Is this my prize for being a good little girl?  What do you give out for prostate exams?”  Some days it’s worth it to get up in the morning just to see the look on her face.

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2 Responses to “Mammogram”

  1. Sara Says:

    Hahaha!!

  2. Christine Says:

    Wha haa! Ho! My sides hurt from the laughing. I am going to remember all of this so I can be armed and ready the next time I have to go. Do you get to wear a pink apron that strategically covers your girls?

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